
A New Weekly Column by Ronin
Poor non-Best Parent Ever bought their baby’s Costco car seat with only the information provided by the NHSTA. The Best Parent Ever is laughing at the lack of preparation! “Silly fool, you should have looked at 3 different consumer report comparisons, spoken to your pediatrician to find out what they recommend, then gotten a second opinion from your back-up pediatrician, called at least 5 of your friends, and then posted the question on no less than 12 message boards. Only then could you narrow your choices down intelligently to your top 3. It is your parental duty at this point to fly out to each factory location and tour the facilities in which the seats are made. Have you interviewed the employees who are putting together your Dakkotah’s seat? How do you know they’re not baby-hating high school drop outs?”
The Best Parent Ever has been yearning to coordinate playdates since her first friend had a baby. Now that baby is here, choosing the right car seat to transport Pookie Lou to play with her 2 months old friends is incredibly important. Safety, as we’ve covered, is the first piece of this puzzle, but there are other equally crucial things to consider: comfort and style. What color is popular this season? The Best Parent Ever knows that burnt orange is the new black and she MUST HAVE IT. Does the car seat have a cup holder? How is the lumbar support? Baby Jaigne’s chances of developing scoliosis will be lessened with just the right consideration. What about celebrity endorsement? What does Angelina Jolie strap her latest acquisition into for their land yacht rides? The Best Parent Ever knows. She has one for each vehicle.
Ronin, I think you’re making fun of me. . . again. You are hilarious!
Everyone call the Bad Mommy Police. I installed my own car seats. And I only bought one per kid, and moved them myself to the other vehicle when I needed to. And I chose a plaid cover, because it was on sale. Obviously, I hate my children and should be summarily shot.
You rock. World needs more souls like you.
woah wait.. that baby in the pic doesn’t have a chest clip… omg call CPS!!!!
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